Revelations and Realizations
by bradwart
Summary: Try as he might to avoid it, Revan's past continues to return to haunt him, only now in ways he never expected. A character piece. Read and review, please.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Okay, here goes the obligatory, long self explanation. This story was originally titled **_**Acceptance and Forgiveness**_**, but after realizing just how bad the story was, and where I could take it, I pulled it, retitled it, and retooled it into a different piece all together. This section is now merely the prologue, and the story will no longer center around Cade. **

**Revelations and Realizations**

Cade sat in the Academy on Korriban. He was meditating, reveling in his new found powers. But something was nagging him. He wasn't heartless, merely angry. He had killed Jolee out of anger, and that had bugged him enough he had killed Mandalore to get back at Revan for forcing him into that. _I should be more powerful than my emotions! I am the most powerful Force-user alive!_

His datapad chimed an alarm. It reported that a small Dynamic-class freighter was approaching the valley. "Good. Perhaps the Jedi are not the fools I believe them to be." Standing, he pushed the thoughts from his mind. It would take all his strength to beat Revan.

_________________

Cade began to pace, fuming. "No one cares what you think, old man! I have the power to kill all of you. You should bow before me and beg for mercy!"

"We do not see the need for that. In fact, the Jedi hardly consider you a threat. How weak and insignificant you've become." Revan taunted.

"ENOUGH!" he shouted, using the Force to slam Revan into the back of his cage. He wanted to hurt him, more than ever. The voice in his mind warned him to control his rage, but Cade was beyond that. He grabbed Bastila, proceeding to torture her. It felt good, to feed his anger. He heard a cage opened, and barely had time to turn before Revan was armed and charging him.

He opened himself to the Force, but the rage clouded his mind, along with fear. The battle was lost before it begun. As his saber was sliced in two, he fell to his knees. "How? A Sith Lord is always more powerful!" he asked. Looking into Revan's face, he saw the promise of death emanating from his eyes.

It didn't hurt as the lightsaber entered his chest. He supposed that was as much mercy as he could expect from a Jedi.

_______________

A cold wind blew as he woke up, coming to a standing position. The area around him was an endless sea of gray, devoid of life or end. Looking around, he started to walk in a direction when a voice behind him stopped him.

"And so you have come. Tell me; was it worth it?"

Cade turned around to see a man standing there. Clean-shaven, wearing odd clothing. But he was human. "Was what worth it?" he asked, cautious.

"It is too early. You are not ready for the question. Please, " he gestured to a door "enter here. All will be clear in time."

Though he didn't like following orders, he did so anyway. Something about the man suggested it would be unwise to refuse.

Cade crossed the threshold of the door, which slammed behind him. The room inside was black, and dark. As his eyes adjusted he saw a path in front of him. Following it, he passed what looked like replays of events in his life. It seemed all too short. Yet another thing the Jedi, and Revan, had done to him. They had stolen his life from him, forcing him to play by their rules, then killing him when he showed signs of disobedience to their vaunted Code. He came upon the final scene.

He knew he had thrown the knife, but he hadn't been trying to kill Bastila. She hadn't done anything to him. He hadn't meant for that to happen. "It's Revan's own fault for involving her." he said aloud, dismissing the crime. He felt no emotion as he saw Revan carry her limp form out of the Academy. _I was more successful than I thought. Perhaps all is not lost._

As he left the hallway, the man stood outside, waiting. "Have you decided?"

Cade sneered. "Of course it was worth it, old man. I made the galaxy a darker place. That's my goal."

The man frowned, shaking his head. "You have learned nothing. Until you do, I must deny you entrance. I'm afraid I must cause you harm now."

Cade laughed, throwing his head back. "What can you possibly do to me? I am more powerful than you can imagine." He continued to laugh until he felt a wave of pain strike him. It caused him to buckle at the knees. The next wave was more powerful, and he collapsed to the ground, writhing in sheer agony. It felt like someone was taking his soul and shredding it into pieces. "No! Please! Don't kill me!" he yelled, begging for his life.

"I'm not killing you, Sith. I'm merely stripping you of the Force. Though in your case it's probably the same thing."

_Stripped of the Force? _The pain continued, and he thrashed about, screaming. Finally, it seemed to lessen. He reached out to feel the Force, and found that he couldn't. That connection was gone. He looked up at the man with bloodshot eyes. "You..."

"I? You made your choices, Cade. I had nothing to do with it. You sought to control the Force, but it controls you. You could not see what you had. The damage you have done to Revan is incalculable. Because of you, he will no longer be able to influence the galaxy as he might once have done. You succeeded, all right. He's a broken man now, a shadow of himself."

Cade only heard parts of it, being distracted by his own vengeful thoughts. "Revan did this to me! It's _his_ fault I fell!"

"No. Revan did nothing to you. Did you know the pain he felt in asking you to control the Star Forge? The pain he feels now? It seems rather uneven, for you to merely lose the Force, while he loses everything."

Cade staggered to his feet, turning away. "I'm done here."

"You are not done here. I suspect that even the loss of the Force will not be enough for you to grasp the error of your ways. You have a remarkably strong will, Cade, but time will break that." He moved his hand.

"What have you done to me!" Cade yelled. He was blind. Rubbing his eyes had no effect. He was truly blind.

"With time, you shall see. Until then you will bear the mark of your...lack of vision." The man took Cade by the arms. "I will point you in the right direction. When the time is right, I will send someone to pick you up. Until then, think about what you have done."

Cade was angry, but he wasn't stupid. Blind, and without the Force, he was utterly helpless. The loss of his sight had cleared his mind somewhat. "Very well. In my present state it seems I must trust you."

"Indeed? Perhaps that is some minor progress. You still have a long, long way to go."

They walked for some distance, until they came upon a camp. Groups of people were everywhere. "I'm afraid there are some rather rough characters here. Some are Sith, some are Jedi, and some merely refused to enter. I will place you in the care of one who, while not a good person, won't kill you." The man paused, considering. "Probably."

Cade moaned internally, but he had no choice but to obey.

Cade heard a flap being drawn back, and he was gently pushed inside. The man followed. "Kreia. Made a decision yet?"

Kreia looked up from her meditation. "My answer is the same one I gave you the last time you were here."

"So be it. In the meantime, I'm leaving Cade here for you to watch over. I had to be rather hard on him, so he'll be an easy target."

Cade heard this 'Kreia' stand. "It seems you were extremely hard on him. Stripping him of the Force _and_ blinding him? I don't think anyone else here ever received that kind of treatment."

"Cade is different. I'm sure I don't need to tell you how powerful a Warmaster can be. But I'll leave it to him to tell you what he's done. Cade, remember. I don't have to send anyone to save you. In fact, I can leave you here forever. Keep that in mind as you ponder your future."

Cade heard the flap open again, and the footsteps of the mysterious man disappeared into the bustle of the camp.

"No doubt you have much to talk about, but let us leave it for a later time. Come; meditate with me. Though you cannot feel the Force, it should prove relaxing." Kreia said, returning to the floor.

Cade resigned himself to a long wait. _I won't be here that long, though. Will I?_

**End of the Prologue**

**A/N: The real tale begins in the next chapter. **


	2. Chapter One

**A/N: Here is where Revan's part in this tale begins. **

**Chapter One**

**Fifteen Years Later**

"Revan, the party guests will be here soon! Hurry up, will you?" Bastila called out from the living room.

"Coming, dear." he replied, but he didn't move immediately. He was looking at himself in the mirror, something he did only on occasion. For once, he could respect the face that was there. It wasn't the face of Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith, nor was it the face of Revan, political manipulator and battle commander. It was the ordinary face of a man, albeit a Jedi, but a man nonetheless.

He stood, walking into the main area. "I'm here."

Bastila looked up from her seat on the chair. "What took you so long?"

"Nothing. I was just getting ready." he replied, sitting next to her.

She nodded as the computer chimed. "Do you want to get that?"

"I suppose..." he said, making a great effort of getting up. "I'm only a war hero and all, guess I still have to answer my own door."

She stifled a snort. He pulled the handle, opening the door. An unfamiliar man stood outside.

"I hope I'm not intruding. May I come in?" the man asked.

"Yes, of course." Revan opened the door wider, allowing the man entrance.

The man came in and sat down. "What can I do for you?" Revan asked, sitting next to Bastila.

"Revan, Bastila, I'm afraid I must ask you a favor. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm Loreck Arkanus, the man in charge of the Afterverse."

Bastila's eyes widened. "You're the man in charge? I've heard a lot about you, but no one I've talked to has ever seen you!"

Loreck smiled. "Few have. And now to the reason for my visit. I do not ask this lightly, as I am well aware of your history. However, it must be this way. Revan, I need you to go to the Land of the Outcasts and bring back someone."

Revan paused. "Land of the Outcasts? Who did you have in mind?"

"That's the hard part. I need you to bring back Cade Richards."

There was silence in the apartment. "What?" Revan asked.

"I'm sorry, but I have to ask. You are the only one who can bring him back."

"You're aware of my past, and you still think I should bring that murderer back? He killed two of my best friends, and my wife!"

Loreck sighed. "Cade has been out there for fifteen years. He's had a lot of time to think about his life. And I'm afraid I was rather hard on him. I intended on bringing him back after a year, but things didn't go as planned. I need you to go out, evaluate his mental state, and bring him back if he's ready. Tell him I'll undo the damage."

"What's to stop me from killing him on sight?" Revan asked.

"Revan!" Bastila exclaimed, pulling away.

"I'm sorry, Bastila, but I don't know if I can ever forgive him."

Loreck watched this exchange with only mild interest. "First off, you can't kill a dead man," he said with a faint smile. "and second, if you plan to stay here, you might want to reconsider your viewpoint. If he refuses, you may condemn him. But to deny a man willing to admit and pay for his crime is another thing entirely. I would be forced to banish you."

Revan looked like someone had punched him in the gut. "Very well. I will go, but I can't promise anything."

"I would not expect you to. Just remember; don't rush your judgment of the boy." Loreck stood and left.

"When are you leaving?" Bastila asked.

"Now. I will get this over with and return to you." he responded.

"Don't let your anger get the best of you, Revan. If you do, you're no better than he was."

He sighed explosively, standing. "I know. I'm going to do my best."

It only took him a few minutes to get dressed to leave. "Tell Jolee and the other guests I had to leave on a errand, and apologize for my absence, will you?"

"Of course. I'm sure they'll understand. Do be careful, Revan."

"I'll be back soon." he whispered, kissing her gently.

As he walked down the street, Revan tried to consider what he would do with Cade. He had allowed himself to forget the issue, and that had been a mistake. Despite his anger, Revan did know that Cade wasn't entirely at fault for his fall. The Council, and by extension himself, had poorly managed the boy. _And I goaded him into action on Korriban_. Revan thought sullenly.

He came to the portal back to the Hall of Arrivals. As he took a look around, he felt slightly uneasy. Why did it feel as though this was the last time?

__________________

Revan pushed his way through the crowded streets, stepping over the piles of rubble. Something grabbed his leg. He whirled, prepared to kick the person away until he saw the face.

"Saul Karath?" he asked, jaw dropping.

"Ah, the high and mighty Revan, visiting the common rabble. How touching. Come here to mock us, have you? You don't deserve to be in there. You did things that make even the worst of us cringe, _my lord._"

"I'm not here for you, Karath." Revan replied, trying to turn away.

"No, of course not. Never a moment for the soldiers, even one who served you faithfully. No; you're here for _him. _The special little _Jedi_."

"Tell me where he is, Saul." Revan said, his voice lowering.

Saul grinned. "Well, assuming that he isn't being beaten to a pulp at the moment, he'd be just over there." He pointed in the direction of a small shack.

Revan left without saying anything else, heading for the shack. He felt inside. There were two people. One was very strong in the Force, and the other was...silent. Hardly a whisper. _Who did Loreck leave him with? _he thought, knocking.

He heard the sounds of scraping chairs and footsteps, followed by the opening of the door.

"Revan." Kreia said.

"Master Kreia...I didn't expect to see you here." he replied.

"Indeed?" She motioned to him. "You should enter quickly. It would be best if certain people did not know you were here."

He stepped through the doorway. The shack was dark. "Forgive me, Revan. With the loss of my sight I have little use for actual light." Kreia said.

He felt a flicker in the Force, and the lights came on. Revan saw a hooded figure sitting on the lounger, though it appeared to be asleep.

"May I presume Loreck sent you here for Cade?" she asked.

"He did. Is that him?" Revan asked, gesturing to the figure.

"It's me." Cade said, throwing back the hood. Revan winced as he saw Cade's face. He was bruised rather badly. More disturbingly; his eyes were a pale white.

"What happened to you?" Revan asked, his anger forgotten for the moment.

Cade smiled weakly, touching his face. "A little disagreement with a few people. As for the eyes, well, Loreck blinded me shortly after I refused to admit my crimes. Makes it a little harder to defend myself, but I manage."

"He stripped you of the Force?" Revan asked. That explained why he hadn't felt Cade's presence.

"He did. Can't say I disagree with him, given how badly I misused it."

Revan noticed that this wasn't the spoiled, arrogant Cade as he had last known him; this was something new.

Kreia coughed. "When are you leaving?"

"I'm not sure yet. Cade, I'm not sure if I'm ready to forgive you."

Cade didn't react, but Kreia did. "How _dare_ you, Revan. After all you have done, you still think you can judge this boy based on his mistakes? The sheer arrogance. You're no better than he was."

"Kreia, I don't have time for another lecture. I--"

She cut him off. "No, you will make time for this one. I always regarded you as my greatest student, but now I see you for the failure that you are. You cling to the past like a pathetic weakling. You, of all people, are in no position to judge. Shall I tell you what you have _really_ done, Revan?"

Something in her voice told him this would be something he did not want to hear. "I'm not dwelling on the past."

"Ah, but this is the future, O' Mighty Jedi! Because of you, the Sith reform themselves, and, though it takes time, completely destroy the Jedi Order and the Republic. Because of you, and your teachings. The Sith would have been destroyed if not for your intervention."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm talking about that holocron of yours, Revan. The one you conveniently forgot to destroy?"

A lead weight sunk into his stomach as he remembered storing the teachings of the ancient Sith into his personal holocron.

"Ah, yes, you do remember. Still think you're worthy of making judgments?"

He didn't reply, motioning to Cade to stand up and follow him.

"Remember my words, Revan. Remember them whenever you think you made a difference!" Kreia called after him.

As they walked down the streets, the occupants of the camp watched, but none confronted them, which was surprising to Cade. But Cade couldn't see the look on Revan's face.

"Revan, I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry. And I know that I can never make up for what I've done. I don't expect you to forgive me."

Revan sighed. "Cade, I think I'm the one who owes you an apology. You didn't deserve what I did to you. For that, I'm sorry."

They came closer to the main hall, where Loreck was waiting patiently. As they approached, Revan walked toward the portal.

"Revan, thank you for taking care of this for me. I knew you would see reason." Loreck said.

Revan had planned to ignore Arkanus, but the wording of that statement set him off. "See reason? Is that what they call it here? Did I 'see reason' by finding out that I'm responsible for the deaths of people who weren't even born yet? Or that I ended up causing the destruction of the Republic?"

Loreck frowned.

"Oh yeah, Arkanus, I know. When did you plan on telling me that little detail?"

"Revan, you must understand that I didn't see the need to--"

"Didn't see the need? You didn't think I might be _bothered_ by finding out the truth from an evil, manipulative, conniving old scow like my former Jedi Master?"

"I didn't know she knew, Revan. She has no doubt hidden other pieces of information from me that I will now have to find." Loreck said.

He sounded sincere, but Revan wasn't in the mood. "Well, feel free to let me know if there are any other little tidbits you think I might not have needed to know." He stalked off, heading through the portal, leaving Cade with Loreck.

"I think I may have made a mistake there..." Loreck said, letting the comment trail off.

Cade shifted. "Sir, if you don't mind me saying this, I don't think anyone knows how to truly handle Revan. You aren't the first to make a mistake, and I doubt you'll be the last."

**End of Chapter One**

**A/N: I'll have the second chapter up as soon as possible. Please review, as always. Thanks. **


	3. Chapter Two

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in this piece, but between Dragon Age and The Force Unleashed, its been a bit busy lately. **

**Chapter Two**

Bastila sat on the sofa, reading a novel. She looked out the window, seeing that it was dark now. _Where is he? He's never this late. It can't have taken that long to bring Cade back._ Despite what Revan said, she knew he wouldn't actually do anything against Cade. If anything, he was one of the most forgiving people there was.

_Except when it comes to forgiving himself_. she thought.

The door slid open, revealing a disheveled Revan. His face was ashen, contrasted by the rawness in his eyes.

She stood, running to his side. "What happened?"

"No...don't want to tell you. You shouldn't know..." he mumbled, teetering on collapse.

"Revan, _what happened?_ she said, holding him up.

He looked at her. "I saw...Bastila, it's all my fault. All of it."

"Revan, you're not making any sense. Come, sit down and gather yourself." she said, leading him to a chair.

He sat down, but continued to mumble, shivering. Bastila was about to call Jolee when the doorbell sounded. She crossed to it, pressing the control panel. Loreck was at the door, looking harried.

"Is Revan here?" he asked.

"Yes, he just arrived. Do you ne--" She was cut off by Loreck, who pushed his way past her into the apartment.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

He ignored her, walking over to Revan. "Revan, speak to me."

Revan was either unable or unwilling to speak, instead closing his eyes and pulling away. Bastila noted the sad look in Loreck's eyes.

"Why is he like this?" she asked.

"Let's go somewhere out of earshot." he said, eyebrows furrowed.

She led him into the spare bedroom.

"Now, what is this about?" she demanded.

"Revan got into the Archives Building and looked at something he wasn't supposed to see. Did he say anything to you?"

"He only said that it was 'all his fault'."

Loreck sighed explosively, rubbing his eyes. "Bastila, when Revan was bringing Cade back, his old master, Kreia, told him something he wasn't supposed to know. When he was the Dark Lord, Revan made a Sith Holocron, in which he stored the entire teachings of the ancient Sith. He didn't remember it until years after his memory loss, but decided that, since it was hidden on Lehon, it wasn't a problem." He took a breath. "It was found nearly three millenia later by a man named Bane, who used it to refound the Sith. These new Sith eventually destroyed the Jedi Order and the Republic, though it took a thousand years."

Now she understood Revan's pain. He had spent his entire life defending the galaxy against the Sith, only to end up causing their victory.

"But he didn't see a critical point. This was meant to happen. It would have happened whether he destroyed that holocron or not. In the end, the victory of the Sith was a good thing. It exposed them, and allowed for their destruction."

Bastila nodded. "Okay, now you've told me what. But why is he like this?"

"Seeing and knowing the future is a treacherous thing. Most people can't handle the truth. Their minds simply aren't made to know even one hundred years in the future. The fact that Revan learned nearly four thousand years of history and still retained his consciousness is a testament to his will."

"A lot of good that did him. What can we do to help him?" she asked. _There has to be something._

"There is a solution...if you wanted to call it that. But it's dangerous. I have to erase parts of his memory using an ancient ritual."

"That's it? Do you know the memory problems he's had in the past?! He doesn't need anyone messing around in there again!" she said heatedly.

"I know his past better than anyone, including you. But we either perform the ritual, or Revan will remain like that forever." Loreck replied.

"What's the risk?"

He averted his eyes. "My predecessors and I have performed this procedure six times in history. Five of the attempts resulted in a total loss of memory, followed shortly by...." Loreck paused.

"By_ what_?" she prompted.

"A never-ending comatose state." he finished, shaking his head.

She felt her hope fading away. "What happened on the sixth attempt?"

"It was well before my time, and I never bothered to research it. I felt that the protections installed on the Archives would be sufficient to prevent the need for it. The only thing I know is that something was different, and the attempt succeeded."

Bastila sat on the bed, putting her head in her hands. "You're not making this choice any easier."

"I am aware. But the important choices are never the easy ones."

Looking up at him, she decided. "Let's do it. Before it's too late."

He nodded, walking back into the main room.

"What can I do to help?" she asked.

"You are skilled in the art of Battle Meditation, yes?"

"I am, but I don't see how that would be any help here."

"It will be. Do you need time to prepare?" he asked, placing his hands on Revan's head.

"No." she replied. While it was true she had not used her ability in years, it wasn't something you simply forgot.

"Then begin." Loreck said, as he closed his eyes and began a chant.

She knelt on the floor, reaching out to the Force. _If this doesn't work..._ she started to say before she cut that thought off. Revan wouldn't approve of her thinking that way.

Hours passed, but the two kept up the ritual. Bastila didn't dare break her concentration to steal a glance. She couldn't afford to let her meditation weaken.

It was early in the morning when she felt a touch on her shoulder. It was Loreck.

"Did it work?" she asked immediately. His face gave the answer before his words did.

"I'm...sorry. It seems my power wasn't en--"

She pushed past him, coming to Revan's side. He wasn't moving.

"Revan? Can you hear me?"

There was no response; no flicker of movement or reaction.

"Revan, my love, answer me." she said, taking his hand.

Revan remained still.

_No..._ she thought, refusing to believe. "Revan, you can't leave me. You promised to stay with me! You _swore_ you would never leave me again, Revan!"

Pounding her fists against his chest in anger, she fell to the floor, shaking. She was alone, now, for all eternity, and there was no changing that bitter fact.

_Alone..._

It came as a shock when she heard a faint "Bastila?" come from above her. She jumped up, coming back to his side. "Revan?"

His eyelids slid open. "Yeah?" he asked.

His manner was so cavalier that she had to laugh. Hugging him, she continued to laugh with sheer joy.

______________

It was later that night. The two of them were sitting outside of the city, watching the starlit sky.

"You saved me. Again." he said.

"I didn't, Revan. It was Loreck." she replied.

"Don't give me that, Bastila. I spoke with him. He told me that if it hadn't been for your Battle Meditation, he would never have succeeded."

Smiling, she replied, "You've saved me more than I've saved you."

"Oh, I doubt it. It was you who saved me from my life as the Dark Lord, you who kept me from trying to regain that life, you who kept me sane in the Unknown Regions. And it was you who saved me from myself. As for me saving you, well, turning you from the dark side doesn't count. It was my fault you fell in the first place."

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"I'm asking you if you will always be there for me, to save me from myself."

Shifting in his arms, she looked up. "Always. Anything for you, my love."

He smiled. "Good. Now, I've got a bit of a crick in my neck, and I think I may need a massage."

Bastila burst out laughing. "Of all the men, only you would think of that at a time like this."

They continued to watch the sky for several minutes.

"I love you, Bastila. I always will."

She looked into his eyes. "I love you too, Revan. Forever."

_________________

**The End**.

**A/N: This is the second and final story set in the "Afterverse". Whatever I may have initially thought, it's actually more of a pain to write in than anything else. This also concludes the story arc set in motion by my KotOR III fic. Thanks for reading, as always. **

**And no, I don't own anything. **


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